Diary of Raven
by RaexBB72
Summary: Raven & Beastboy oneshot. Summary and inspiration explained inside.


**Diary of Raven**

**I got the idea for this story while watching an AMV for Raven & Beastboy with the song Diary of Jane by Breaking Benjamin. This will not match the AMV. Just to clear that up. And I will not be using all the lyrics. They are more of a foreshadowing.**

**Oh, and I always hate that Beastboy's the shortest. So, for the purposes of this story he's like 5 inches taller than Raven.**

**Time: After all five seasons and movie.**

**Location: Titans Towers [obviously].**

**In case of confusion: **"_THESE ARE LYRICS._" "This is talking." '_This is thinking._' And this is narration.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Teen Titans. Sadly.

**OOooOOoo**

"_IF I HAD TO, I WOULD PUT MYSELF RIGHT BESIDE YOU._

_SO LET ME ASK, WOULD YOU LIKE THAT! WOULD YOU LIKE THAT!_"

"_AND I DON'T MIND, IF YOU SAY THIS LOVE IS THE LAST TIME._

_SO NOW I'LL ASK, DO YOU LIKE THAT! DO YOU LIKE THAT!_"

The music came blaring out his speakers at max volume. If it wasn't for all the Titan's rooms being soundproof, he might have had complaints.

Beastboy lay on his bed coming down from a previously furious state. Angry thoughts kept racing through his head as well as the moments that had happened only an hour before.

"_TRY TO FIND OUT, WHAT MAKES YOU TICK AS I LIE DOWN._

_SORE AND SICK. DO YOU LIKE THAT! DO YOU LIKE THAT!_"

"_THERE'S A FINE LINE BETWEEN LOVE AND HATE AND I DON'T MIND._

_JUST LET ME SAY THAT I LIKE THAT! I LIKE THAT!_"

**-FLASHBACK-**

The common room was mostly empty. There did happen to be a certain green changeling sitting on the couch playing his all too familiar video games. As he focused with diligence the common room doors swished open. The sensitive empath walked down the stairs and into the kitchen placing a mug she was carrying into the sink. Unbeknownst to Raven, Beastboy had paused his game and was staring at her. He had always had a crush on her. It was obvious to all the Titans. Even Raven knew it. She just didn't let him know she knew. So, as far as Beastboy knew, she was completely clueless to it.

Raven walked over the fridge and pulled out a peach. After closing the fridge door she began making her way back to the common room doors. Before she could make it up the first step Beastboy popped up right in front of her. "Ahh!" Raven squeaked in surprise as she took a step back. "Beastboy! Don't do that," she scolded.

"My bad. Didn't mean to scare you. I was just wondering if you'd like to join me." Beastboy used his had to motion towards the TV screen.

Raven looked over her shoulder at the video game, sighing inwardly. She turned back to look at him. "You know video games aren't my thing."

"What about chess then," Beastboy offered, trying anything to keep her from leaving.

Raven's left brow went up as her right slid down.

"Right." Beastboy knew she knew that he couldn't possibly play well enough to keep her stimulated. "Ummm," Beastboy outwardly thought as he tapped his chin trying to come up with something she would agree to.

Raven started to tap her foot. She was becoming rather impatient with Beastboy trying to hold her hostage in the common room. "Is this going to take long?" Raven's words came out a little harsher then she had intended and she wished she could suck them back in. Beastboy's ears dropped just enough to be noticeable. '_Too late,_' Raven thought.

Not completely discouraged he still kept on tapping his chin and looking towards the ceiling, as if it held the answers.

"Look. It's obvious you're not going to think of anything. So can I-" Raven stopped mid-sentence when she saw Beastboy's ears drop completely. He looked both hurt and mad. "Oh Beastboy. I didn't mean it like tha-" This time Beastboy stopped her.

"You know what Raven? I know I'm not the smartest Titan on this team, but I thought you of all people wouldn't think I'm that stupid." Beastboy stared at her expectantly, waiting for her response.

Raven started to panic. "Beastboy, I-" She couldn't say. She couldn't tell him. She couldn't let him know. She _wouldn't _let him know. Raven suddenly dropped her head and ran out of the common room.

Beastboy growled and chased after her. He wasn't about to let her get away. He wanted answers.

After making it pass the doors he spotted her turning the corner some several feet ahead. Beastboy popped up in front of her again just a few seconds after she turned the corner, stopping her in her tracks. However, unlike earlier, he wasn't smiling. Beastboy pointed at Raven as he leaned in close to her, now only half a foot away from making contact. "You take a hit at my dignity, don't even apologize and then run away!" He exclaimed.

Raven tried to keep her face as deadpan as possible, but could feel that she was losing the battle. If he found out- She shook her head inwardly to diminish the thought. No. No one was ever going to find out.

**-PRESENT-**

"_SOMETHNG'S GETTING IN THE WAY. SOMETHING'S JUST ABOUT TO BREAK._

_I WILL TRY TO FIND MY PLACE IN THE DIARY OF JANE!_"

**-BACK TO FLASHBACK-**

"And furthermore you always act like you can't stand to be around me. I'm pretty sure I made it damn obvious that I wanted to spend some time with you!" Raven wasn't shocked by his declaration. She knew. "You always spend some kind of time with the others. You even spend time with Starfire." It was true. Raven had spent a fair amount of time with all the Titans by now. The only one she seemed to avoid and constantly ignore was Beastboy. "It's like you have some kind of bond with everyone but me. You and Starfire meditate together and talk about whatever it is that you two could possibly have in common. You and Robin bonded when the world was coming to its end. You've even been inside his mind for Christ's sake! And as baffling as it is you've even bonded with Cyborg over a car! A freaking car! If that's all it takes to spend time with you then why do you always push me away? Why do I feel like you pay attention to every Titan but me?" Beastboy was fuming now. "WHAT DOES IT TAKE FOR ME TO BE IN YOUR LIFE! WHERE IS MY PLACE IN THE DIARY OF RAVEN!" Tears started to form at the corners of Beastboy's eyes. He turned and stalked off.

Raven just stood there watching him leave.

As Raven phased into her room the black aura dissipated from around her. She dropped her peach and basically crawled to her bed. Instead of getting on it, she sat down in front of it, leaning her back against the foot of it. Raven brought her knees to her face. Her face trembled ever so slightly before the tears flowed down her cheeks. Her face broke its usual expression and she sobbed into her thighs.

**-PRESENT-**

"_AS I BURN ANOTHER PAGE. AS I LOOK THE OTHER WAY._

_I STILL TRY TO FIND MY PLACE IN THE DIARY OF JANE!_"

Beastboy had calmed down since then. But he still kept himself mad enough to keep in mind what he wanted from Raven. He was _going _to get those answers. Beastboy sat up and stared at his door.

"_SO TELL ME HOW IT SHOULD BE!_"

**OOooOOoo**

Raven hadn't moved from her spot on the floor in front of her bed. She had ceased crying by now and just stared blankly at the floor.

'_Oh Beastboy. If only you knew._' Raven sniffled. Afraid she'd start crying again she paused her thoughts.

'_I know you like me. And I would spend time with you, but if I did… You'd find out that-_' A sharp knocking at Raven's door caused her to lift her head. Sensing Beastboy's aura she stood up.

Beastboy exhaled slowly to make himself calm enough to talk to her without scaring her. The door slid open and Raven stared up at him. Beastboy was about to start questioning her right away until he noticed her face. It was red and blotchy. "Raven… Have you been crying?" Beastboy's voice came out gentle and soft.

'_Crap!_' Raven panicked.

Raven slid away from the door and tried to retreat. Beastboy caught the door before it could close. "Raven!" Beastboy sounded concerned and panicked.

She knew he wouldn't leave easily. She tried anyway. Pulling up her hood and turning she spoke, "Leave."

Beastboy could here the shakiness in her voice and it only worried him more. He stepped closer to her. "Raven-"

"Please don't." She was going to lose it. He needed to leave before-

"Raven please-"

'_Too late._' Raven started to sob again. "I know okay!" Beastboy stepped back surprised. Shock and confusion consumed his facial features. Raven whipped around to face him. Her hood fell and Beastboy could see the river of tears running down her already blotched cheeks. "I know! I know you like me!" Beastboy's face turned expression. His cheeks tinged pink, as he now felt very exposed. "You don't get it though. You think all I think about is myself, my books, and all the team members but you. You think my 'diary' is full of anything but you. You're wrong!" Beastboy stared at her shocked and a little frightened. "All it's about is _you_!" Beastboy's eyes widened. "I like you, okay!"

And then it happened. It clicked. His questions were answered. His feelings were returned. Where was her place in the diary of Beastboy.

In the swiftest of movements Beastboy placed his right hand on Raven's cheek, his left arm around her waist and pulled her to him. His lips met hers in a passionate… angry… _loving_ kiss.


End file.
